funny track quotes - Wordgag

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

May 24, 2026

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

May 21, 2026

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

May 21, 2026

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

May 21, 2026

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

May 20, 2026

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

May 19, 2026

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Apr 1, 2026

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Mar 31, 2026

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Mar 30, 2026

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Mar 29, 2026