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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

4,065

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Trending via X:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Going viral on Facebook:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Going viral on Reddit:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Trending via Threads:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Breaking via WeChat:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Making waves on Messenger:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

2 months ago

0

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating the world of relationships these days is like trying to solve a riddle 🤔 Are they single single, with a side of drama single, social media blocking single, or just playing mind games single? It's a modern dating mystery, folks! 🕵️‍♀️💔 #RelationshipStatusWoes

ask, blocked, dating, head, humor, just, mad, partner, people, relationships, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

0

2 months ago

advice, alert, caution, humor, kings, planet, relationship, remember, stay, stay alert, world
Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, humor, listen, Netflix, relationship, subtitle, watch, women
They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

0

4 months ago

feeling, feeling rested, humor, invent, invention, rest, rested, should, sleep, sleeping, tired, type, wake, wake up, where
My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, headphones, hear, humor, i, interaction, men, move, relationship, signature, signature move, social, social interaction, tell
We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

0

2 weeks ago

cake, exaggeration, food, food shortage, house, humor, i, middle, never, perish, shortage, situation, snowstorm, survival, unexpected, unexpected situation, winter
Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

0

2 months ago

AI, AI writing, dash, em, em dash, grammar, humor, incoherence, incoherent, mean, please, punctuation, stop, too, us, work, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Reddit this month:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

14 shares on X this month:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

14 shares on Slack this month:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

My parents think they know me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,072

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Trending via WeChat:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Trending via Instagram:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Trending via Instagram:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Trending via YouTube:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Just shared via TikTok:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Making waves on Reddit:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

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