Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Spotted on Slack:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Spotted on Messenger:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Spotted on Facebook:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Breaking via X:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Just landed via Slack:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Navigating the world of relationships these days is like trying to solve a riddle 🤔 Are they single single, with a side of drama single, social media blocking single, or just playing mind games single? It's a modern dating mystery, folks! 🕵️‍♀️💔 #RelationshipStatusWoes

ask, blocked, dating, head, humor, just, mad, partner, people, relationships, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

54 shares on X this month:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Trending via Snapchat:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Trending via Pinterest:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Trending via Messenger:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Spotted on Telegram:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Spotted on Threads:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Trending via WeChat:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

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