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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

56 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Seen just now on X:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Breaking via Reddit:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Spotted on Discord:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Breaking via Reddit:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Reported on Threads:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Breaking via Discord:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Going viral on Discord:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Breaking via TikTok:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

4 months ago

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of long-distance love… I mean, family relationships! 🏙️💖 Who needs daily drama when you can have a loving clan just a plane ride away? 🛫😄 It's all about that perfect balance of closeness and distance, am I right?"

caring, city, close-knit, distance, family, happiness, humor, irony, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

56 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Spotted on Slack:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Breaking via YouTube:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Going viral on Discord:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Going viral on Reddit:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Just landed via Reddit:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

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