Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Spotted on TikTok:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Spotted on Reddit:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Going viral on Reddit:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why break a sweat when life's handing out hammocks? 😎🛌✨

challenge, choice, difficult, difficult life, easy, easy life, humor, i, just, life, life philosophy, philosophy, should, simplicity, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

3 weeks ago

art, cat, chill, exist, existence, human, humans, i, job, jobs, just, need, relaxation, why
So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

2 months ago

across, adult, adult behavior, baby, behavior, bottle, crawling, cute, floor, funny observation, humor, i, intervention, need, observation
I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

2 months ago

avoiding, avoiding people, comfort, comfort zone, exactly, home, humor, i, introvert, people, solitude, want, where, zone
There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

6 months ago

another, culture, dance, gangnam, Gangnam Style, humor, music, only, peace, pop, pop culture, song, style, viral, viral song, world, world peace
Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

2 months ago

bit, blowing, blowing up, humor, joke, just, nobody, self-destruction, should, technology, Tesla, wait
What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

2 weeks ago

belief, believe, childhood, ever, family, holiday, humor, kid, kids, parent, parents, pretend, pretending, Santa

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

47 shares on Threads this month:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Making waves on YouTube:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Making waves on X:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Going viral on Messenger:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Live now on Reddit:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Breaking via Slack:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Just shared via Reddit:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Trending via Instagram:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨