Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Going viral on TikTok:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Just landed via Discord:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Making waves on X:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Shared recently on Threads:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of collecting a personal gallery of future ghost stories 👻👥 #GhostedByMy20s

20s, adulthood, attachment, haunt, humor, life, memory, people, person, relationship, rest, twenty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

0

2 months ago

apology, church, congregation, funny situation, humor, i, missionary, misunderstanding, situation, volunteers
If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, breaking, breakup, Christmas, date, dating, deviled, deviled egg, egg, eggs, exchange, feeding, fun, fun activity, gift, gift exchange, gifts, start, Thanksgiving
Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

0

2 months ago

adventure, dragon, fantasy, humor, i, once, quest, toast
My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, cracks, every, fitness, glow, glow stick, humor, i, light, move, noise, pain, stick, time
Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

0

2 months ago

being, date, dating, fun, going, hard, humor, i, just, me, much, personality, relationship, self-love
These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

0

2 months ago

break, funny observation, humor, lunch, lunch break, observation, relatability, time, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Live now on Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Just shared via WeChat:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Trending via Discord:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Broadcasted on Slack:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Just landed via Messenger:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨