Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Just shared via Instagram:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Live now on Pinterest:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Just shared via Messenger:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Spotted on TikTok:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Trending via Pinterest:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of collecting a personal gallery of future ghost stories 👻👥 #GhostedByMy20s

20s, adulthood, attachment, haunt, humor, life, memory, people, person, relationship, rest, twenty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

0

2 months ago

humor, intern, office, procrastination, productivity, put, task, today, tomorrow, why, work
Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

0

2 months ago

antics, blanket, boss, funny idea, humor, idea, night, night time, office, office antics, over, prank, sleep, time, workplace
HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

0

2 months ago

being, challenge, communication, feedback, hr, humor, me, saying, staff, stop, stupid, stupidity, taken, workplace
Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

0

2 months ago

accusation, block, comedy, guy, humor, interaction, just, me, media, social, social media, talk, Twitter
Having a job ruined my life.

0

2 months ago

career, frustration, having, humor, job, life, ruined, sarcasm, work
I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

0

2 months ago

actors, comedy, feelings, fun, humor, i, kissing, movie, reaction, romantic, said, strong, subtitles, surprise, unexpected, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Seen just now on Messenger:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Going viral on Instagram:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Breaking via TikTok:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Just landed via Facebook:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Having a job ruined my life.

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨