Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
I survived the ultimate childhood triathlon: outrunning dogs, dodging goats, and escaping the relentless beak of the wild chicken! 🐶🐐🐔😂

animal, animal chase, chase, chased, chicken, childhood, complete, dog, even, funny memory, goat, memory, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

0

1 month ago

alien, aliens, bet, door, Earth, humor, i, joke, lock, past, safety, space
I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

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2 months ago

cake, carrot, cooking, dessert, eat, eating, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, i, irony, later, need, vegetable, vegetables
I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

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1 month ago

2015, after, bed, disaster, experiment, great, honey, i, mishap, relationship, stopped
It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

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1 month ago

bath, bird, bird bath, brunch, chipmunk, heat, hot, hot tub, humor, menu, Mimosa, summer, tub, using
Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

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1 month ago

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom
The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

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3 weeks ago

best, failing, forgetfulness, gift, having, humor, memory, open, present, presents, self-gift, surprise, time, wrap, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Slack this month:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

10 shares on X this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

91 shares on Slack this month:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

35 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Seen just now on X:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Making waves on Slack:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨