The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Commentary:
"If life were a game, the author of this autobiography would clearly be the master of plot twists and unexpected turns! 📖🤷‍♂️ Never a dull moment in the memoirs of the perpetually surprised protagonist! 😅"

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.
  • Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.
  • “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.
  • If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.
  • Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.
  • You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.