Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
  • My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.
  • “I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine
  • Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.
  • Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.
  • Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.