Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.
  • I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.
  • People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.
  • Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.
  • I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.
  • Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.