Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.
  • All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.
  • There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.
  • I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.
  • My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.
  • Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.