Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a classic case of "failed synchronization syndrome" 😴⏰ Dozing off at the wrong time, partying all night with the Sandman, and hitting snooze like it's your new best friend… it's a sleep-deprived battle royale! Time to set up a truce between your morning self and your bedtime self, or else your pillow might just stage a rebellion! ⏳💤