Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.
  • With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.
  • Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.
  • Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.
  • Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.
  • Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.