Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.
  • I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.
  • I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.
  • Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.
  • I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.
  • Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.