Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.
  • I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.
  • Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?
  • You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.
  • Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.
  • Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.