27 funny somewhere quotes - Wordgag

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

May 23, 2026

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

May 21, 2026

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

May 20, 2026

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

May 19, 2026

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

May 19, 2026

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

May 19, 2026

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

May 19, 2026

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

May 19, 2026

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

May 19, 2026

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

May 18, 2026

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Apr 1, 2026

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Apr 1, 2026

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Apr 1, 2026

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Apr 1, 2026

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Mar 31, 2026

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Mar 31, 2026

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Mar 31, 2026

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Mar 31, 2026

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Mar 31, 2026

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Mar 31, 2026

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Mar 30, 2026

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Mar 29, 2026

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Mar 29, 2026

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Mar 27, 2026

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Mar 27, 2026

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Mar 26, 2026