Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.
  • I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.
  • At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.
  • You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.
  • Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.
  • Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.