Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.
  • Turns out that ending meetings with β€œhave the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.
  • You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.
  • My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, β€œI drink it.”
  • I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.
  • My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.