Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.
  • Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.
  • After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.
  • How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?
  • Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.
  • Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.