Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.
  • Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.
  • If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
  • Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.
  • You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.
  • The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.