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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.
  • Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.
  • Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.
  • Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.
  • We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.
  • I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.