Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.
  • Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
  • I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.
  • My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.
  • Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”
  • Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.