Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.
  • All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.
  • Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.
  • Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.
  • Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.
  • This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.