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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Shared recently on X:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Just landed via Threads:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Making waves on TikTok:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

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A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.
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Commentary:
"A college education: the ultimate exercise in delayed gratification. You shell out a fortune, endure sleepless nights and endless assignments, only to graduate with a degree in hand and a sense of impending doom about student loans. Ah, the sweet irony!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

18 shares on Slack this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to have a great future in my past.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Going viral on WeChat:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Just landed via Slack:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Trending via Twitch:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Going viral on Facebook:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Seen just now on Discord:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

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