Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”
  • Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.
  • Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?
  • Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.
  • Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.
  • Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.