Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Making waves on Twitch:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Just landed via Threads:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Seen just now on Facebook:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Making waves on Telegram:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending via YouTube:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Reaching for the stars, one clumsy step at a time 🌟😜🚀

dreamy, fantasy, girl, me, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star, whimsical

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

0

4 months ago

age, aging, bedtime, close, dangerously, dinner, dinner time, getting, humor, just, old, routine, saying, time
Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

0

2 months ago

date, deal, expiry, humor, i, patience, payback, ready, revenge, timing
Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

0

1 month ago

breath, humor, kiss, love, me, passion, romance, same, save, soul, trying
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, everything, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, motivation, reason, sometimes, stupid, stupidity
Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

0

2 months ago

90, activity, aesthetics, decision, decision making, fun, fun activity, grape, grape variety, humor, label, making, pretty, pretty label, shopping, variety, wine
My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, laundry, left, machine, minute, oh, only, parent, said, sarcasm, teen, timer, washing, washing machine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

27 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Shared recently on Threads:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Live now on Instagram:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Going viral on Threads:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Trending via Pinterest:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨