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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Just landed via TikTok:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Seen just now on Threads:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Just landed via X:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Going viral on TikTok:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Going viral on Slack:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Spotted on Instagram:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Just shared via Telegram:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Making waves on WeChat:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Shared recently on WeChat:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Love in the digital age: Are they stealing your heart or just your playlists? 🎶💔 #MixtapeRomance"

another, dating, flirtation, humor, i, link, love, me, music, post, relationship, Spotify

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

0

3 days ago

always, bigger, character, character flaw, eater, flaw, flaws, friends, friendship, humor, i, picky, picky eater, problem, problems
I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

0

1 month ago

age, age gap, am, gap, humor, i, old, old person, people, perception, person, think, where, young, young person
On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

0

2 months ago

action, actions, average, daily, daily action, else, good, humor, self-deprecation, something, something else
Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

0

2 months ago

confuse, dining, good, humor, irony, manager, restaurant, service, today
Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

0

2 months ago

communication, hello, humor, leave, message, speak, technology, toaster, voicemail
What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

0

2 months ago

aliens, culture, fiction, fitting, hopes, humor, imagination, invasion, movy, parody, science, science fiction, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

90 shares on Threads this month:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

35 shares on Slack this month:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Just shared via Instagram:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Just shared via Twitch:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Going viral on Instagram:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Just landed via Reddit:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Spotted on Facebook:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Live now on Snapchat:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨