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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Trending via Twitch:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Breaking via Threads:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Trending via WeChat:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Spotted on Telegram:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Seen just now on Discord:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Just shared via YouTube:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Fashion crimes of the past come back to haunt us all! 😅👖🙈

apologize, apology, daughter, era, family, family relationship, fashion, fashion era, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, i, jean, jeans, low-rise, low-rise jean, parent, parents, relationship, teenage, teenage daughter, top, tube, tube top

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

0

2 months ago

advice, buy, cake, celebration, hear, humor, i, indulgence, know, motivation, need, needs, occasion, special, special occasion, treat
Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

0

2 months ago

affect, cheating, credit, credit score, honesty, humor, partner, relationship, score, should, trust
Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

0

4 months ago

asleep, couch, falling, falling asleep, field, gender, gender role, getting, humor, joke, male-dominated, male-dominated field, role, sleep, stereotype
I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

0

2 months ago

diet, donut, donuts, eat, eating, exist, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, i, indulgence, lifestyle, need, temptation
The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

0

2 months ago

cinema, entertainment, escape, favorite, forget, hours, literally, movie, relaxation, vibe, world
Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

0

5 months ago

advice, avoid, break, couple, days, fun, news, pro, pro-tip, relaxation, tip

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Just landed via Instagram:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Breaking via Slack:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Going viral on YouTube:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Going viral on Slack:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Live now on Instagram:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Going viral on Instagram:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨