Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Going viral on Discord:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Breaking via WeChat:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Breaking via Facebook:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Just shared via Threads:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Making waves on Facebook:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Don't worry, I'm just saving my energy for the grand finale of destiny 😂✨ #ProphecyProcrastination"

babe, couple, humor, joke, ok, playful, prophecy, relationship, sarcasm, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

0

2 months ago

early, exercise, i, ID, ironic, kind, never, person, right, wake, wake up
Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

0

2 months ago

condom, humor, idiot, idiots, prevention, produce, relationship, responsibility, stock, stock up, sure
I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

0

2 months ago

add, affection, humor, ID, keychain, playful, quirky, relationship, shrink
I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

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2 months ago

aging, bring, children, embarrassing, embarrassment, family, happiness, humor, i, joy, little, little things, me, older, parenting, things
My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

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2 months ago

advice, kid, kids, kindergarten, money, saving, start
Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

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2 months ago

12, addiction, chocolate, day, eye, hearing, humor, lost, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Messenger this month:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

29 shares on X this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Just landed via Telegram:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Just shared via Reddit:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Just shared via Instagram:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Just landed via Discord:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Making waves on Telegram:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨