Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Going viral on Threads:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Seen just now on X:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Just shared via YouTube:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a reason to consider myself enlightened after watching last year's karaoke night! 🎤😅📹

able, being, form, humor, own, self-acceptance, sound, tolerance, tolerate, video, voice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

0

2 months ago

alive, culture, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, knight, Knight Rider, know, nostalgia, number, people, pop, pop culture, rider, show, technology, today, TV, TV Show, young, young people
These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, awareness, car, cars, distraction, electric, electric car, i, outside, quiet, scrolling, stop, walking
I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

0

2 months ago

accountability, actions, always, around, blame, else, humor, i, loneliness, responsibility, self-awareness, take
All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

0

2 months ago

decision, decisions, humor, i, overthinking, self-deprecating, still, worst, worst decision
Tested positive for being single af

0

2 months ago

af, dating, humor, positive, relationship, single, single af, status, tested, tested positive
I have to pee. Story of my life.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, life, pee, story, urgency

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

76 shares on Slack this month:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Trending via Discord:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Seen just now on X:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Just shared via YouTube:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Tested positive for being single af

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨