Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.