Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Going viral on Telegram:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Just landed via Facebook:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Finally, an excuse for my quirky dance moves in the grocery aisle! 💃🛒😜 #GracefullyInsane"

being, gracefully, happiness, happy, health, humor, insane, insanity, joy, life, mental, mental health, secret, self-acceptance, uniqueness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

0

2 months ago

air, environmental, humor, joke, love, microplastic, microplastics, pollution, sarcasm, wrong
They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

0

2 months ago

another, comedy, dinosaurs, film, guess, humor, jurassic, let, loose, me, movie, sequel
I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

0

2 months ago

ask, depot, funny moment, high, home, Home Depot, hose, humor, i, know, laugh, moment, right, shopping, where
As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

0

2 months ago

allowed, direct, empowerment, fantasy, girl, humor, i, moon, should, speak
Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

0

2 months ago

delay, distraction, humor, i, internet, just, laziness, need, procrastination, thing, whole, yes
I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

0

2 months ago

assume, day, horrible, humor, i, morning, morning routine, optimism, perspective, routine, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Discord this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

76 shares on Slack this month:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

13 shares on Threads this month:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Just landed via Instagram:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Just shared via Telegram:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Just landed via Twitch:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Just landed via YouTube:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨