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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Spotted on Pinterest:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Just landed via Discord:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Live now on YouTube:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Just landed via TikTok:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Making waves on Telegram:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Making waves on Reddit:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, become the lemon 🍋😅 #CustomerServiceChronicles

born, customer, customer service, hate, humor, irony, job, people, sarcasm, service

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, am, annoyance, bite, delicious, hate, humor, i, insect, know, mosquito
That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

0

2 months ago

cut, expectation, fruit, humor, moment, seed, surprise, watermelon
Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

0

2 months ago

confidence, day, flirting, hot, humor, i, me, nice, self-esteem
I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

0

2 months ago

grammar, humor, i, irony, language, linguistics, live, moose, plural, want, where, wordplay, world
Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

0

2 months ago

centipede, flip, flip flop, flop, footwear, humor, imagination, imagine, sound, tiny
It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

0

5 months ago

actually, dependency, depends, fear, growing, growing up, life, reflection, scary, teenager, well, whole, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Discord this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

33 shares on X this month:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Shared recently on Threads:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Spotted on Instagram:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Just landed via Threads:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Breaking via Twitch:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨