Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”