Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Breaking via Messenger:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Breaking via X:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Trending via TikTok:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Just landed via Messenger:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Just landed via X:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Meanwhile, I'm just trying to decide what to have for dinner 🤔🍕🧙‍♂️

adulthood, age, believe, childhood, expectation, humor, i, kid, life, realization, reflection, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

0

2 months ago

change, cheeseburger, comfort, comfort food, craving, food, happiness, humor, mood, never
As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

0

5 months ago

chip, eat, eating, eating habit, habit, help, humor, i, just, OCD, order, pringle, respect, snack, someone
I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

0

2 months ago

card, cards, credit, credit card, finances, humor, i, joke, limit, spending, too
I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

0

1 month ago

communication, humor, i, joke, only, speak, squeak, witty, wordplay
Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

0

2 months ago

accident, distraction, food, humor, i, jelly, mean, media, mistake, phone, social, social media, tweet
In Russia, the cold complains about you.

0

2 months ago

cold, complain, humor, irony, Russia, sarcasm, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Threads this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

61 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Breaking via Telegram:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Spotted on Discord:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Going bananas on Facebook:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Just shared via Messenger:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Just shared via Threads:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨