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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

β€œIt’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has shared:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Going viral on Telegram:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Going viral on TikTok:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Just shared via Threads:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Just shared via Messenger:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Breaking via Telegram:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Just landed via Reddit:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

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Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.
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Commentary:
Meanwhile, I'm just trying to decide what to have for dinner πŸ€”πŸ•πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Girls be like, β€œI hate this man,” then have sex with him.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

57 shares on Reddit this month:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has downloaded:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has shared:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

Born to say β€œWho the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s β€˜faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has copied:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has copied:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has viewed:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has viewed:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Facebook:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Trending via Instagram:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Seen just now on YouTube:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Freshly posted on X:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Going viral on Twitch:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

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