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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Trending via WeChat:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Making waves on X:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Live now on Discord:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Going viral on X:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Shared recently on Threads:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

2 months ago

0

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the difference a helping hand can make in the world of coffee! ☕️🤝 Who needs a barista when you've got friends with caffeinated benefits, right? Just don't spill it on the way to me, we don't want any bean casualties! 😄"

better, coffee, convenience, enjoyment, handed, humor, me, much, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

0

2 months ago

chore, clothes, dryer, ever, feel, folding, household, household chore, just, laundry, procrastination, restart
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

0

2 months ago

bad, brain, communication, eye, eye roll, humor, just, looking, people, reaction, roll, talk
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

0

2 months ago

asking, Friday, front, girl, humor, just, longing, Monday, procrastination, standing, weekend, workweek
You can’t spell disappointment without me.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, humor, irony, me, self-deprecation, spell, wordplay
“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

0

2 months ago

conversation, cost, date, expense, expensive, free, humor, still, tomorrow
If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

0

2 months ago

always, am, confusion, dollar, every, getting, going, humor, i, ID, irony, know, money, sarcasm, time, unexpected, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

69 shares on X this month:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

42 shares on X this month:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Going bananas on Slack:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Just shared via Reddit:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

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