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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

230 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,499

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,499

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Making waves on Slack:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Going viral on Telegram:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"College: where the ultimate survival kit is a charged laptop and a hydrated student! 💻💦 #WaterBottleWarriors"

bottle, campus, college, humor, humor quote, independence, just, laptop, life, resilience, student, student life, study, water, water bottle, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

0

2 months ago

Chinese, Chinese government, energy, every, government, humor, me, morning, power, ray, sarcasm, sleepy, sleepy ray, turned, wakefulness
Farting, but with eye contact.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, contact, eye, eye contact, fart, funny situation, humor, interaction, moment, situation, social, social interaction
Manifesting you in my bed.

0

5 months ago

attraction, bed, flirting, humor, manifesting, relationship
Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

0

2 days ago

25, bagel, bike, biking, delivery, expense, food, food delivery, hangover, humor, normie, poor, soul, spend, type, understand, why
Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

0

2 months ago

1996, 1996 movie, believe, celebrate, celebration, comedy, culture, day, federal, federal holiday, hit, holiday, holiday humor, humor, independence, Independence Day, movie, movie reference, pop, pop culture, reference, still
First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

0

2 months ago

blueprint, cringe, culture, evolution, humor, meme, meme culture, slang, social, social evolution, transformation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

52 shares on Threads this month:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

53 shares on Threads this month:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Going bananas on X:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Going viral on TikTok:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Going viral on Discord:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Going viral on X:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Farting, but with eye contact.

Manifesting you in my bed.

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨