Commentary:
Trying to finish a bottle of Worcestershire sauce is like playing a video game on expert level 🎮🕵️♂️🥫
31 Funny bottle quotes
If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.
Commentary:
Sounds like a truth serum with a grape-y twist! 🍷😄
Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.
Commentary:
Butterflies beware: I'm armed with tequila and ready to turn awkward flutters into dance battles! 🦋🍹💃😂
I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.
Commentary:
Who knew ibuprofen would become the new party favor? 🎉🥳🤕
My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.
Commentary:
"Who knew lotion could double as a Deborah repellant? 😅🧴 #SmoothMoves #KeepingThePeace"
Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.
…
Commentary:
"Worcestershire sauce: the secret ingredient to turning my fridge into a tongue twister! 🌀😂🥫"
College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.
Commentary:
"College: where the ultimate survival kit is a charged laptop and a hydrated student! 💻💦 #WaterBottleWarriors"
You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.
Commentary:
"Who needs a message in a bottle when you can have a bottle with a message 🍹📜? Tequila has a way of making sure that message gets through loud and clear! Cheers to a truly effective communication strategy! 🎉😄 #TequilaTalks"
My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.
Commentary:
"Looks like his wife sees the glass half empty… or in this case, the bottle half empty! 🍷😂 Maybe he should try a 'glass half full' approach next time!"
Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.
Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when we had to navigate through the treacherous world of elementary school without our trusty hydration, communication, or snack devices 📵🍎 The real survival of the fittest! Just shows that we truly are the resilient generation 💪🏼📚 #ThrowbackThursday #Survivors