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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Just landed via Telegram:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Just shared via Facebook:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

2 months ago

0

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, caffeine – the ultimate 'miracle' drug straight from the heavens! ☕️🙌 No short or long-term negative side effects, just pure energy and questionable life choices. Who needs angels when you've got a good old cup of joe to guide you through the day? 😜☕️ #DivineEnergyBoost"

addiction, caffeine, crazy, drug, effect, energy, God, health, humor, just, negative, short, side, side effect, super, super drug

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

0

2 months ago

12, 3, 4, before, charge, comedy, directing, episodes, films, humor, movie, movie order, order, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, wars, Yoda
I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

0

2 months ago

camping, discomfort, humor, i, mortgage, nature, outside, pay, preferences, sleep, wanted
Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

0

2 months ago

diet, fill, gas, grocery, hack, money, spend, tank
In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

0

2 months ago

booster, booster shot, borchestershire, england, humor, joke, language, shot, spelled, wordplay
You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

0

2 months ago

comment, communication, dating, etiquette, free, humor, joke, just, legal, media, nice, people, photo, relationship, social, social media, three
You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

0

2 months ago

animal, better, chance, chase, dog, getting, humor, joke, me, playful, playful threat, sarcasm, threat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

12 shares on X this month:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

77 shares on Threads this month:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

21 shares on X this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

37 shares on Discord this month:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,457

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Trending via LinkedIn:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Making waves on X:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Just landed via Discord:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Spotted on X:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Going viral on Twitch:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Just shared via Facebook:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

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