Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Talk about customizing your universe! 🌌🔮 Looks like someone's reading between the stars to create their perfect match. Who needs a horoscope when you've got a personalized cosmic connection? 😂✨#selectiveastrology"

attraction, boy, compliment, dating, focus, horoscope, humor, me, parts, relationship, sense

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Meow means woof in cat.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, humor, language, means, meow, translation, woof
Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

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2 months ago

admit, bring, buried, clutter, digital, digital mess, front, great, humor, i, library, mess, organization, phone, phone use, photo, photo library, screenshot, screenshots, system, taking, tech, tech humor
When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

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2 months ago

ask, audacity, back, charger, family, humor, percentage, phone, phone charger, technology, teenager
The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

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2 months ago

appetite, bowl, breakfast, cereal, eating, regret, second, snack, stopped, want, wish
Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

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2 months ago

ban, fitness, gym, humor, joke, me, sauna, saying, Scotty, steam, times, too, wordplay
I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

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2 months ago

away, circus, escape, humor, i, inconvenience, minor, running, running away, stress, swear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Twitch this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

77 shares on Slack this month:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

74 shares on Discord this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

29 shares on X this month:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Going viral on Telegram:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Just landed via Threads:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Meow means woof in cat.

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨