Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Talk about customizing your universe! 🌌🔮 Looks like someone's reading between the stars to create their perfect match. Who needs a horoscope when you've got a personalized cosmic connection? 😂✨#selectiveastrology"

attraction, boy, compliment, dating, focus, horoscope, humor, me, parts, relationship, sense

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Threads this month:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Seen just now on Discord:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Just shared via X:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Live now on X:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Just shared via Reddit:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Just landed via Messenger:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Seen just now on Slack:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨