55 funny sense quotes - Wordgag

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

May 23, 2026

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

May 22, 2026

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

May 22, 2026

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

May 22, 2026

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

May 22, 2026

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

May 21, 2026

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

May 21, 2026

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

May 21, 2026

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

May 21, 2026

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

May 21, 2026

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

May 21, 2026

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

May 21, 2026

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

May 20, 2026

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

May 20, 2026

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

May 20, 2026

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

May 20, 2026

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

May 20, 2026

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

May 20, 2026

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

May 19, 2026

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

May 19, 2026

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

May 19, 2026

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

May 19, 2026

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

May 19, 2026

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

May 19, 2026

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Apr 1, 2026

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Apr 1, 2026

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Apr 1, 2026

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Apr 1, 2026

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Apr 1, 2026

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Mar 31, 2026

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Mar 31, 2026

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Mar 31, 2026

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Mar 31, 2026

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Mar 31, 2026

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Mar 31, 2026

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Mar 31, 2026

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Mar 31, 2026

When did making sense stop making sense?

Mar 31, 2026

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Mar 31, 2026

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Mar 30, 2026