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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Just shared via Discord:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Just landed via Facebook:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"😂 If only I could reply before you even text! Time travelers, where you at? ⏰✨"

dating, easy, humor, i, joke, me, relationship, reply, super, text, texting, timing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, millionaire, money, people, relationships, sarcasm, single, someone
The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

0

2 months ago

bureaucracy, democracy, government, humor, irony, politics, real, satire, threat
If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

0

2 months ago

bar, crumbs, DIY, food, granola, humor, nature, Nature Valley, resourcefulness, snack, three, valley
Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

0

2 months ago

career, degree, funny career, Groundhog, having, humor, imagine, irony, meteorologist, prediction, profession, prophecy, science, science degree, unexpected, unexpected profession, weather, weather prediction
College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

0

3 months ago

attendance, class, college, core, core class, home, learning, self, self learning, sit, teach, teach yourself, yourself
I overthink, therefore I am.

0

2 months ago

am, existence, humor, i, identity, irony, overthink, philosophy, self-reflection, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Discord this month:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

80 shares on Slack this month:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

69 shares on Facebook this month:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

66 shares on X this month:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Shared recently on Telegram:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

I overthink, therefore I am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨