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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,773

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Just shared via Facebook:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Just landed via X:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Just shared via Threads:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Trending via Discord:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"😂 If only I could reply before you even text! Time travelers, where you at? ⏰✨"

dating, easy, humor, i, joke, me, relationship, reply, super, text, texting, timing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

0

2 months ago

analogy, bang, furniture, humor, pinky, pinky toe, playful, relationship, toe
My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

0

2 months ago

asked, back, came, funny moment, glasses, happening, humor, i, joke, left, literally, misunderstanding, moment, parenting, room, said, today, toddler, zoo
I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

0

2 months ago

adopt, driveway, highway, humor, i, own, raise, ready, responsibility
You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, ologist, sarcasm, smart, sound, wit
If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

0

2 months ago

birthday, daughter, gift, hiding, humor, i, months, parenting, surprise, where
An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

0

2 months ago

bar, home, humor, introvert, isolation, joke, just, kidding, social

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Just shared via Messenger:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Freshly posted on X:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Making waves on X:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨