Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.