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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,943

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Going viral on Reddit:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Trending via Discord:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Just shared via Facebook:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Every morning is like hitting the snooze button on life! 😂😴☕️"

ever, humor, just, laziness, mood, morning, relatable, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

1 month ago
alien, aliens, am, comedy, defect, extraterrestrial, humor, i, invasion, sci-fi, side, sorry, space
Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

1 month ago
boring, humor, light, light show, lights, nature, night, phenomenon, polar, polar light, show, sky
Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

4 months ago
blocking, criminal, enough, humor, i, insult, medieval, throw, tomato
Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

1 month ago
behavior, expectations, fairness, irony, people, relationships, treat, upset
Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

1 month ago
dating, DM, DMs, Etsy, humor, love, magic, paying, put, relationship, spell, witch
Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

1 month ago
gravity, holding, holding up, humor, joke, me, physics, pun, sick, tired

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Making waves on Slack:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Breaking via Slack:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Going viral on Twitch:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Going viral on YouTube:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

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Activity Log ✨

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

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Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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