Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Trending via Pinterest:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Going viral on TikTok:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Freshly posted on X:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Going viral on Threads:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Making waves on Slack:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Just landed via Threads:

January is the Monday of the year.

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just tried, but my life settings menu glitched and only offers "Insane Mode"! 🎮😅✨

anyone, difficulty, frustration, humor, joke, know, life, sarcasm, self-deprecation, setting, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

2 months ago

activity, best, bottle, candy, empty, fun, fun activity, humor, line, mouth, playful, prescription, prescription bottle, shaking, Smarty, waiting
That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

3 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, communication, confusion, five, humor, misunderstanding, moment, repeated, repeated words, saying, situation, social, social situation, somebody, times, understand, words
Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

2 months ago

before, checkout, checkout line, everyone, experience, filled, frustration, humor, life, line, mine, never, people, picking, shopping, talent
Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

2 months ago

around, donuts, food, humor, people, safety, self-care, skinny, storms, weight
I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

2 months ago

humor, i, morning, noon, person, procrastination, sleep, time
Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

3 weeks ago

body, grooming, holiday, humor, just, Santa, shave, shaved, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Twitch this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

25 shares on X this month:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

45 shares on Discord this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Seen just now on X:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Making waves on TikTok:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Live now on WeChat:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Trending via YouTube:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Seen just now on Threads:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨