Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Making waves on Twitch:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Just landed via TikTok:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Broadcasted on Discord:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Just landed via YouTube:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, but I hope you ordered enough pizza for everyone on the planet! 🍕🌍😄"

curiosity, everyone, gathering, house, humor, invitation, social, social gathering, surprise, tomorrow, want, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

0

2 months ago

broke, delivery, fashion, here, humor, online, online shopping, Shein, shopping, spending, sudden, swear, women
Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

0

2 months ago

coming, humor, life, mouth, music, nostalgia, right, smash, Smash Mouth, start, stop, time, year’s
Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

0

2 months ago

babe, bro, call, communication, friend, hiss, humor, slang, snake, snakes
Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, deserve, hard, humor, i, self-expression, sticker, stickers, tattoo
People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

0

2 months ago

bear, even, humor, irony, me, patience, people
Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

0

2 months ago

bad, better, expectations, humor, imagination, optimism, perspective, pessimism, reality, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

57 shares on X this month:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Making waves on Slack:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Spotted on Instagram:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Spotted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Seen just now on Discord:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Live now on Reddit:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Going viral on Threads:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Live now on Telegram:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨