Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

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Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

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I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

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Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

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Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

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“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

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Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

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This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

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I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

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I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.