Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Seen just now on Threads:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Breaking via Pinterest:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Spotted on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Trending via Snapchat:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

0
Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Keeping my drama-free streak strong with my trusty water bottle and frequent bathroom breaks! 🚰🚽🤣

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

10 shares on Discord this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

69 shares on Threads this month:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Spotted on Instagram:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Spotted on X:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Seen just now on Slack:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Just shared via Facebook:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Making waves on Slack:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Just shared via YouTube:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Live now on Discord:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Shared recently on Slack:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴