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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Dear music, thanks!

Going viral on X:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Making waves on Instagram:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Making waves on Facebook:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Just landed via YouTube:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Going viral on YouTube:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

2 months ago

0

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, Dry January, the month where we voluntarily deprive ourselves of joy amidst the post-holiday blues 🍷😂 Why not add a sprinkle of masochism to the mix, right? Cheers to making life a tad more challenging for no apparent reason! 🎉 #DryJanuary #ThirstyForLaughs"

challenge, drinking, dry, Dry January, even, humor, i, January, laugh, month, people, worse, worst, worst month, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

0

2 months ago

afraid, confidence, dating, humor, i, know, love, me, media, relationship, social, social media, unfollow
I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

0

2 months ago

argument, back, backing, disagreement, humor, i, meme, realization, support
If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

0

2 months ago

accusation, alibi, anxiety, crime, going, humor, introvert, prison, social, social anxiety, too
You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

0

4 months ago

art, artist, Bob, Bob Ross, ever, humor, just, landscape, liked, nature, painting, ross, tree
An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

0

2 months ago

bar, home, humor, introvert, isolation, joke, just, kidding, social
“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

0

3 months ago

anxiety, attempt, awkward, awkward moment, cancel, communication, event, going, hesitation, introvert, moment, social, social anxiety, social event, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Threads this month:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

65 shares on Threads this month:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

31 shares on Discord this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

61 shares on X this month:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

49 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

91 shares on X this month:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Shared recently on Slack:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Just shared via YouTube:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Shared recently on Messenger:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

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