18 funny dry quotes - Wordgag

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

May 22, 2026

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

May 22, 2026

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

May 21, 2026

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

May 21, 2026

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

May 21, 2026

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

May 19, 2026

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

May 19, 2026

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

May 6, 2026

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

Apr 1, 2026

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Apr 1, 2026

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Apr 1, 2026

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Apr 1, 2026

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Mar 30, 2026

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Mar 28, 2026

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Mar 28, 2026

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Mar 28, 2026

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Mar 27, 2026

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Mar 27, 2026