Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

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I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

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Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

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Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

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Donating blood today to make room for more food.

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The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

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I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

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They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

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Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

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The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

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The most important meal of the day is the next one.