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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

851 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,013

Funny Quotes Topics

13,947

Funny Quotes Images

11,013

4 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Trending via Twitch:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Just landed via Reddit:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Spotted on Slack:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Just landed via X:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Just shared via Facebook:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

6 months ago

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

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Commentary:
It seems like the oldest trick in the political playbook – resigning to spend more time with the family 🤔 But hey, let's not overlook the unsung heroes in this scenario – the families left wondering, "Have they cleared this with us first?" 😂👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #FamilyApprovalNeeded

family, humor, irony, politician, politicians, resign, say, saying, spend, time, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

851 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,013

Funny Quotes Topics

13,947

Funny Quotes Images

11,013

4 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Making waves on Facebook:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Breaking via Twitch:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Reported on Pinterest:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Seen just now on Threads:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Just shared via Facebook:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Reported on WeChat:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

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